Fallen

Dear reader,


I used to like helping others but I don't anymore, or at least, not as much as I did before. Because for being nice and kind, caring and loving... when you do a mistake... it's like you are the worst person on Earth... people start thinking you're not who they thought you were, and you think they are right, that you, indeed are, the worst person that has ever existed... always deceiving without remorse. 


Have you ever felt that? 


You've probably only felt that when you told a secret you weren't supposed to tell or that one time you cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend. You probably think now that because you are human making mistakes so that you can learn from them is in your nature, that as long as you are sorry everything will be alright and can go back to how it was before and you probably say that it was for the best, that you learnt from those mistakes.


I don't.


That's why I stopped being nice, and thought of myself as a bad person, because it's easier, so when you aren't mean, when you don't make mistakes you are over people's expectations and they think highly of you, not like before... never like before, but they think that maybe, just maybe you aren't that lost. 


Sincerely,
the child who survived.